Cybergrooming

Cybergrooming is when an adult tries to gain the trust of children and adolescents online over an extended period of time. Their goal is to establish a relationship in order to later persuade or force the young person to perform sexual acts. They frequent platforms and gaming sites that are especially popular with children and adolescents (TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram etc.) The groomer poses as another young person and uses manipulation to gain their trust and take advantage of them.

The grooming process may occur in several steps and the length of time between first contact and sexualized violence may vary greatly. 

The search for potential victims

Groomers look for potential victims through information like publicly shared posts, likes, lists of followers, comments, etc. 

They generally look for children and adolescents who:

• are reticent and insecure
• are having personal problems and feeling unstable
• see themselves as outsiders
• act extroverted and willing to take risks
• may have (younger) siblings

Making contact 

Communication from groomers may include the following characteristics:

• Humorous, relaxed communication
• Claiming to be the same age and have the same interests
• Quickly exchanging photos that are not sexual in nature
• Sexually offensive comments

Building a relationship

To establish a close relationship and control over the young person, the groomer creates a close emotional connection by:

• imitating the speech of the young person
• introducing specific personal topics to create closeness
• asking the victim questions about themselves and their lives and taking a special interest in their problems
• claiming to have common interests or experiences

These strategies create a basis for trust and a certain level of emotional dependence. 

Assessing the risk

The groomer assesses the risk of communicating with the young person by:

• asking if the young person talks to others about the relationship
• finding out if the young person is the sole user of the device used for communication
• learning where the young person lives
• asking about the parents’ working hours
• finding out whether the young person is alone when they are online

Building exclusivity

The groomer wants the young person to enter into a relationship with them. The groomer achieves this by: 

• feigning trust by talking about secrets and shared problems
• claiming that only they can understand and solve those problems
• emphasizing that their relationship is special
• saying that others don’t understand their relationship
• insisting that the relationship remain a secret
• portraying the relationship as unique and exclusive
• minimizing the influence of others
• maximizing their own influence on the young person

Sexual exploitation

The groomer

• talks about sexual experiences and fantasies
• presents themself as a teacher/master in matters of sexuality
• asks for and exchanges sexual material (naked photos, videos, voice messages, video calls)
• tries to obtain intimate material through bribes (money, gifts in games)
• threatens and blackmails through the use/sharing of personal information and/or photos/videos/audio clips already shared (more about this under Sextortion)

• Technological advancements are making it harder to recognize fake profiles. If something seems “off” to you, block contact with that user. 
• Avoid sharing your personal information (name, age, school, etc.) online – especially on social media.
• Only share information online that you’d share with strangers offline. 
• Protect yourself by not posting pictures in which you can be identified. 
• Make your profile private.
• Use caution if a chat partner:
• tries to lure you into a private chat
• insists that you keep the communication secret
• demands photos, videos, or video calls
• sends messages with sexual content
• won’t take “no” for an answer
• wants personal information and to meet in real life
• offers money or gifts

• If you need additional information and support, visit clickandstop.ch, an independent project where you can file a report and get advice anonymously. 
• Under no circumstances should you give in to the perpetrator’s demands (e.g. by taking and sending photos or videos). 
• Explain to your child that they are the victim of a crime and that it’s not their fault that they are being threatened/coerced. 
• Go to the police as soon as you can after an incident and report it. Bring evidence with you if possible. Please note:
  • Do not save, share or edit photos or videos containing child pornography! Not only is making anything that contains sexual acts with minors prohibited – so is possessing or sharing it. Therefore, do not ask to be sent photos and videos with the intention of saving them on your cellphone as evidence. 
  • Take any cellphones, laptops or tablets with such images to the police.
  • Compile any information you have on the perpetrator(s), such as: 
    • User name, through screenshots containing their account name and photos. Record the date and time that the screenshots were made.
    • Email addresses, telephone numbers used, etc.
      
• Do not block/report the account on the platform until after the police have secured the evidence. This will allow the police to investigate/secure the cybergroomer’s account. 
• Use the anonymous and free Take It Down service to prevent images from being shared on various platforms.

• Clickandstop
• Police
• Victim support centers